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Author Archive | woody

Day Above Ground

I don’t even know what in seven hells is going on here:

1. In an N*Sync conceit, Day Above Ground are shrunk down and put into a bird cage

2. They serenade their Asian girl about everything they know about Asians, while we see polaroids of the eponymous Asian Girl going out with every member of the band

3. She takes a bath with them, whereupon the bass player is used as a scrub, and in an extremely Bukowskian moment, one of the guys swims into her vagina.

4. Then she decides to shrink herself down? Or unshrink the band? Is that right? Am I missing anything here?


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woodman record check

For my record check I’m putting up tracks that I’ve been into the past few weeks… no classics or miracle dollar bin tracks here, for that you can bug Pete to repost my old record check from like 5 years ago, replete with such records like “From the Choirgirl Hotel” and Shantel’s “Higher Than The Funk” LP.


“Eno import. Sigue Sigue Sputnik. Break beats. Serge Gainsbourg. Ryuchi Sakamoto, what are you guys stealing for other people now?”


My friend saw James Murphy at this bar called Snitch, and he was hanging out with sandals on. That alone makes him the best guy ever.


I think the first hip-hop song I ever heard stoned (and thus blew my mind to smithereens) was either this or Canibus’ “2nd Round KO”.

paul mcc.jpg

Temporary Secretary = the most insane Paul McCartney song ever.


Kyle from the NY Lab store used to play the “Music Scholar” track from this album a lot, and after awhile we started quoting it liberally.

-Oh, the Burrito Brothers couldn’t sing or play?

-Aaaah you know… the quality of the recordings were so weak.


This is my favorite Janet Jackson song. It’s so uplifting! It reminds me of Prince’s “Take Me With U” in terms of having that breezy feeling. The dub mix is insano.

rb drunkie.jpeg

This was a Lab record that Lloyd turned me onto. When he was crashing on my couch I realized that Lloyd spends 21 hours a day on the internets. Even when he’s asleep there’s like Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” streaming on his Mac.


Another competitor for best New Order song ever.


Every time I’m at 205 I hear this.


I was joking around with someone that there needs to be a house music karaoke night. Then you can stand in front of a giant screen with a mic saying “can you feeeel it! can you feeeeeel it! for 5 minutes. If there was, I would sing the shit out of this song.

In true ripping off Ayres fashion, I made a mix with these records on them, plus more. You can listen/download it here.

Bonus stuff.

mix artist listing:

sigue sigue sputnik / kia shine / lcd soundsystem


paul mccartney

ray mang / charles r martin

janet jackson / rockmaster scott

mark e

evelyn king

new order / metro area

todd terje

coral way chiefs / cultural vibe

now generation

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Taking Breaks Only To Pee And Smoke


So my life is officially changed. As anyone who is similar to me will know, my vocal range does not lend itself to much karaoke power. Gordon Gano and Isaac Brock, I can handle your piddling range. Julian Casadouchecas, I can handle you too, maybe because your “singing” is actually half-asleep moaning into a distortion box (“I’m soooo tired, why don’t you come ovah heeahh” etc). Any of you dudes out there think you can handle “Heaven is a Place on Earth”? WRONG. WRONG. Impossible unless you can actually sing.

I finally found the karaoke bar in NY that I’m going to get married in. Japas 38, nigga! Not only do they have “Since U Been Gone” and “Behind These Hazel Eyes” (sold!) but dudes have NOT ONE, NOT TWO, NOT THREE, but FOUR YES COUNT THEM FOUR songs from Weezer’s Pinkerton.

AAAAAAHHHH!!! Just so you know, “El Scorcho, the Good Life, Pink Triangle, Across The Sea.” ACROSS THE SEA! I’m going to be singing the like 5 key changes in the instrumental bridge. Too bad there’s no Tired of Sex and Falling For You, but if they had it, I would have nothing to look forward to in heaven:

Rivers: Hey woody, I’m not feeling too confident about this performance, would you like to take over vocal duties for a few songs?

Woody: Sure thing, bearded Rivers circa leg operation, though I don’t think I’m as good as you are some of the howling “whoas!” on Tired of Sex.

Rivers: Don’t worry Woody, I’ll co-yell on the anguished screams of that incendiary cut.

Woody: What a “perfect situation!”

(the 2 high five, God looks on while nodding approvingly and making the “hang ten” motion with his hand)

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