Here are some choice highlights from the gift baskets that this year's MTV Movie Awards performers & presenters are receiving.

(Yes, I know it's gross. Yes, I know that a lot of celebs give their baskets to charity. I just like seeing how the other half lives.)

Beyond Technology will be gifting the complete e-Bright System which includes everything the user needs to dramatically whitening their smile at home in just 3, professional quality treatments. Beyond Technology Corp., a world leader in professional dental whitening systems used by thousands of dentists around the globe brings its power-whitening technology to home-whitening with the new e-Bright system. Destined to replace traditional home tray-bleaching, the e-Bright system utilizes 18 high intensity LEDs to deliver 480nm wavelength light-accelerated whitening- the same technology used in cosmetic procedures at the dentist office.

Centre Epiderme/Dr David Sayah will be gifting a consultation with Beverly Hills plastic and reconstructive surgeon Dr. David Sayah and receive a Restalyne treatment.

Chaya Tequila will be gifting a bottle of Chaya Tequila in a VIP only designer case unavailable to the public. Recipients will also receive a bottle of each of their other flavors: the young agave filled Chaya Silver, the light fruit of Chaya Reposado, or the refined taste of Chaya. Chaya tequila is the elegant new award winning spirit in the world of premium tequilas that has the industry raving.

Hollywood Poker will be gifting the talent a $500 Celeb Club Card to play online along with a gun metal grey USB drive in a velvet pouch.

La Costa Hotel & Spa will be gifting a two-night stay for two at the all new La Costa Resort and Spa. The getaway includes two nights of suite accommodations, dinner for two in BlueFire Grill and a two-hour Romantic Spa Journey in a private VIP suite at the spa. The spa journey includes unlimited day use of the spa, a 50-minute La Costa massage for two, a bottle of sparkling wine, chocolate fruit fondue and one hour of additional leisure time in their spa VIP suite.

License2bling will be gifting 2 license plate frames embedded with Swarovski crystals.

Netflix will gift a 12-month complimentary membership to Netflix and a portable DVD player to enjoy movies on the go.

Superman Returns will be gifting a deluxe S3 Select Series Sculpt figure of Superman from the new hit film and a choice of the “Superman Returns” Inflato-Suit or the Remote Controlled Flying Superman figure. Additionally, a $200 donation in the recipient’s name will be made to the Christopher Reeve Foundation and a wearable dog tag and clip with the Foundation’s “Go Forward” motto, emblazoned with the Superman “S” Shield, will be included in the package so the recipient can show their support for the Foundation’s mission of finding treatments and cures for spinal cord injuries.

XM2go® Satellite Radio with MP3 will be gifting the Samsung Helix, activation and one year of XM Satellite Radio service. The Samsung Helix (MSRP: $399.99) is a major breakthrough in consumer electronics, offering live XM reception for portable listening, and it stores MP3s, WMA files, and XM content for playback anywhere, anytime. Plus, Helix has a revolutionary feature that lets the user "bookmark" songs heard on XM for online purchase from the XM + Napster service.

shwan emailed me this video of manute bol's finest moments.
his story is incredible...
remember when he tried to transform himself into a 3 point specialist or when he tried to throw punches anthony mason?

pics from the hamburger city opening...

the work was really incredible. it was like an issue of hamburger eyes exploded onto the wall. photos will be on sale at the LA store until the end of june. select photos will be available online (coming soon).

the obligatory crowd / drunk persons pics. that's yasmin and asher, old school college buddies.

diamond encrusted jesus piece was there with homey The Game. Estevan Oriol (several of his photos were on display) rolled through with his family. Also spotted: Sen Dog(!!!) from Cypress, Good Charlotte dudes, and a couple that Jasper met at the deli, who ended up bringing their daughter and buying 4 photos.

this photo was featured on the flyer, and was the first one bought (stony snatched it up before the show started). Monkey (the dude on the back) and his boy were man enough to re-enact the scene sans bike.

if we did this show in NYC, it would have been Dude-Fest 3000, but in LA, the ladies come out strong. This girl showed up with a booty shorts posse (including one dude). I had to pinky swear that this was our record, to get this shot...

Hamburger Eyes posse is on Broadway. Below, Dwayne and Jenny of Oylerwu Collaborative, the designers of the LA store....

after the show... the mgmnt stopped in the Dime for a quickie (check Stony in his CEO khaki blazer attire), then Young took us to his favorite spot over toward Santa Monica. Warning: if you see this sign or this man, stay away. this place is evil. they don't even serve alcohol in this place, but we felt like we were getting smashed. too much fun and highly recommended.

introducing the Lab-mobile #3 west coast edition. Turbo diesel with authentic 1988 chrome wheels and sky blue paint job.

getting ready for the Hamburger Eyes show. Hit up Smart & Final for 300 beers (which lasted a little over an hour), 2 containers of cherry vines, and ice...

ridin' dirty...

jean is the only dude i know who can rock those pants.

more pics coming...

I was watching UFC 60 just now and, in between rounds, the camera was cutting to show the various celebrities in the audience. I think the guy from King of Queens was there and maybe Leonardo DiCaprio. Both smiled and waved politely, as celebrities do when the camera cuts to them when they're just trying to watch sweaty guys kick each other in the face. Anyway, the camera cuts to David Spade, who looks okay, except that he's clearly hanging out with the same dudes he went to high school with, and they're most likely still sleeping off his couch and telling him he's cool -- Entourage style. Then, to the horror of all involved -- even his high school buddies, I'm sure -- he flashed the devil horns.

And if you listened close, you could almost hear the crowd gasping, then whispering softly: "Hey, David Spade -- 1999 called. They want their metal sign back."

a little preview of the Hamburger Eyes show opening tonight.
should be an awesome time.
come on down, tonight 8-10pm (saturday)
yes, that's a dude pissing in his own mouth
and andre the giant too...
all photos availble for sale too.

THIS SATURDAY
THIS SATURDAY
THIS SATURDAY
THIS SATURDAY

our first art show at the LA Store
opening party this saturday,
everyone's invited...
stony, frogman, and i will be out there for this one too...

OK, we got some beef to address - customer service and Shipset are rolling together on this one. We always welcome customer comments, but if you have a complaint step up to the plate and include your real name and a valid e-mail address so that we can respond to your comments. This is a small business and the shipping department works their asses off to get 150+ packages out everyday; everyone here works as hard as possible to meet the demands of the customers. Still, Shipset is a bunch of nice guys and they don't bite (OK, maybe Sizzle does) so you don't have to be afraid. "nobody@nobody.com", this is going out to you.
P.S. Just so you know that we walk the walk here, my name is Matt and my e-mail address here is matt@turntablelab.com

The homie and Photoshop wizzard Mr. Snickerdoodles McPoppycock takes the rap pictogram game to a whole 'nother level.

Click for larger view:

Good luck, blogozords.

another youtube masterpiece...
can't make this stuff up.
via deadspin

also greg, the chemical engineer from australia,
got the latest pictogram correct.

"Go ninja go ninja go
Ninja ninja rap ninja ninja rap"

btw, the blog contest is over,
will post winners soon...

from Francis, another rap pictogram, dig the quadratic equation in the background.

That me so horny pictogram was too damn hard. I drew a beginner-level piece today in class, please enjoy. Also, do you think Solo from the hit movie Solo could beat a T-100? -Francis

in a rare move, ESPN features soccer on the front cover.
check how short Park Ji-Sung is?
makes his performance this year even more impressive.

Production Squad been dual-screenin', Pete!

(And, uhhh, I was punched out, that's why AIM is the only thing on my screen.)

after reading a NY Times article about double monitor workstations
(it said that in studies, it improved work efficiency 20-40%),
i ordered up a dell flat screen for myself (around 3-4 bills, google "dell coupon" for deals).
all i have to say....
THAT SHIT WORKS.
this is the best thing that's happended to my work life,
since I found the combo of the belkin gel mouse pad
and the MacAlly rollerball mouse.
i probably save 1000s of mouse clicks daily.
people, you spend so much time at your computer.
take those 3 bills you are about to drop on
an all-over print hoody and hook yourself up
with a double-sized workstation.

I was babysitting the Lab dog Emma over the weekend. Emma gets real nevous when she rides in the car, so Stony rigged this shoddy harness system.

it doesn't work. emma bolts for the driver's side, digging her nails into my leg and jamming her head under the wheel. two times she hit the gear into neutral while i was driving. don't know why I chose to blog this, just had to tell someone.

HOW MANY BULLETS CAN YOUR BACK HOLD?

remember this?
one of the best movies of all time.
skinamax rulez!
no, puberty rulez!
andy sidaris even has his own website too. boxsets?

One more contest... Winner gets nothing.

via The Surrogate Selecta

WE GOT OURSELVES A HOT ONE, AMERICA!

Congratulations to Tim R., the winner in Turntable Lab's first ever Rap Pictogram contest.

Tim R. dropped much rap knowledge jewels and came with the correct answer:
I'm like a dog in heat
A freak without warning.
I've got an appetite for sex
Cause me so horny.

He did, unfortunately, fail to give us any information about himself, so all I have to work with is his email address, which will now be put on BLAST for all to holler at him with congratulatory remarks.

TUBACITY@GMAIL.COM

And now, in honor of Tuba Tim, here are the TOP 10 RAP SONGS FEATURING TUBAS!
1. Black Sheep "Have U.N.E. Pull"
2. Trick Daddy "Shut Up"
3. Uhhhh ... shit. I guess that's it.

CONGRATULATIONS TIM!!!

---------------------------------------------------

Man, seeing that giant pile of steak in PH's bloggue entry™ got me thinking... We don't get down like that in Minnesota. I mean, I guess we COULD, but we just don't. Our red meat of choice comes in the form of a Jucy Lucy. This legendary Minneapolis delicacy is constructed from two all-beef patties with a slice (glob?) of cheddar cheese in between. The edges of the patties are pressed shut, sealing in the molten cheese until it oozes free upon your first bite, often scalding your entire mouth.

Preparing the burger.

The cheese bursts forth into the world.

If you're in Minneapolis, the best place (if you're a purist, the only place) to get one is Matt's Bar at 35th and Cedar Ave. The last time I ate one, I got ridiculously sick. I was DJing in some store at the Mall of America (that's another blog) afterwards, and had to do the whole gig sitting down. The guys who ran the shop thought I was drunk and I ended up puking in the Mall of America bathroom. Like a week before Christmas. It felt very patriotic.

frogman jumped shipped yesterday, and moved to LA to
head our west coast operation. he's been living in nyc for
way too long, he needs the break. (he usually prevents me
from putting up embarassing pics of him, but phuc it now!)

this one is from our new years road trip to n'awlins, vintage
old school Tuff-Skins (his old proud nickname which was taken away
from him for reasons I will not blog).

had to get one of him with the jesus hair too...

good luck frog.
(ladies, he's single)

digging through old digital flicks is a pretty crazy experience.
my short adult life is flashing before me. been doing this thing
for much longer than i expected. this is a picture of the manhattan
store before we renovated it. it used to be a japanese comic store
slash cafe.

this photo i found in a folder called "mad boxes"
this is when our office was in williamsburg, and scratch records
were still our bread and butter. i think we got out 100 plus packages out
that day, which was a record for us at the time. these days, shipset
can bust out a hundred in their sleep. Although, the guy on the left,
Pat, did the hundred by himself which was pretty sick. Notice the
young Boy Genius aka the worst intern ever posing like he did something,
and Stony's italo-buffant hair cut.

call me a design nerd,
but it has always been a mini-dream of mine to create
a gridded notepad.
these come free with all orders starting tomm...
i got the quote from pablo picasso,
who said:
"only put off until tommorrow what you are willing to die left undone."
word is barry bonds.

i got obsessed with those Simpsons figures for a minute...
here's my stab at being artsy.

looking through old pics for embarrassing frogman moments,
i came upon this flick from one of our lab mgmnt power dinners...
this is the infamous Peter Luger Porterhouse,
vegetarians kneel in its overwhelming power!!!
(it brokedown the previously veggie frogman).

served in a sizzling platter, soaked in butter,
this basically takes 2 days off your lifespan.
tip: for those who don't want to mess with Luger's reservation sched
go here, same food, more laid back atmosphere.

ordering tips:
1) order the porterhouse for multiple people and share. this is the signature dish, and sharing a steak is a great feeling. can't beat the presentation either. don't touch the plate, that shit is hot!
2) when figuring out how you want your steak cooked, add one to your preference. so if you want medium-rare, order medium.
3) definitely try the bacon appetizer. this is the best bacon you will ever have.
4) best side dishes: hash browns + creamed spinach.
5) tip heavily (at least 20%). in this place, it is ok to flex your manliness.
6) most importantly, make sure you take a dump before you go. Both myself and Boy Genius have been bitten by the turtle head after eating here.
enjoy.

THE NEW KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN SLOP BOWL

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and seeeee...

++++++++++++++++++++++

b/w RAP PICTOGRAM TAKEOVER

In case you haven't heard, the new hot shit is Rap Pictograms. Rap lyrics drawn out in pictures. Me and my homie S. McPoppycock from Lords of Apathy have officially commenced the revolution.

Here's how it works - you look at this drawing I did (since you might be wondering, yes, I do have a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree), then figure out what rap lyrics are being pictogrammed. If you know the answer, I don't know, I guess email someone at Turntable Lab. The winner will be heralded in my next blog entry.

Click for larger view:

i heard this in memphis at starbucks daniel's place back in the sweet sweet days of my southern tenure. saw it in the stax museum but couldn't find it at all. i think paul at audiomania had a copy but gave it to lou bond himself, who apparently rides a bike around memphis and no longer owned a copy. anyway, as a birthday present i was given my very own copy by my man Tram yesterday. absolutely hugetime. thanks, homie!!! lou bond is who ghostface wishes he was. shit's real.

Yo, not to toot our own horn or nothing, but Entertainment Weekly called us the 8th best music site on the internet, and that's pretty cool.

(Personally, I ranked a bit lower, but I ain't mad.)

this $1000 Hendrix record and more at this
Hendrix record auction.
it gives a nice snapshot of the fanatical rock collecting underbelly.

go alien dome!!!
at age 36, Cassell is killing em.
he just has an uncanny ability to score with no hops.
dude is a genius.

THANK GOD.
thierry henry announced he is staying with arsenal.

(the youtube heading for this video is "neva scare a n..."

It's "Morrissey," you not-taking-five-seconds-to-check-google dude.

soooooooo true,
this is the best blog post i've seen in a while.
found via arkitip

THIS WEEKEND
THIS WEEKEND
THIS WEEKEND
THIS WEEKEND
THIS WEEKEND
THIS WEEKEND

congrats to boy genius on graduating from college yesterday.
welcome to a world of pain and suffering.

Nothing's more inviting when you go look at a potential new studio space, only to find this gizmo laying around with the building supplies left by the construction workers. Love them union benefits!

PS. The detailed engraving is definitely a fine touch.

Punk Rock Girl

One Saturday I took a walk to Zipperhead
I met a girl there and she almost knocked me dead

Punk rock girl
Please look at me
Punk rock girl
What do you see?
Let's travel round the world
Just you and me punk rock girl

I tapped her on the shoulder
And said do you have a beau?
She looked at me and smiled and said she did not know

Punk rock girl
Give me a chance
Punk rock girl
Let's go slam dance
We'll dress like Minnie Pearl
Just you and me punk rock girl

We went to the Philly Pizza Company
And ordered some hot tea
The waitress said well no, we only have it iced
So we jumped up on the table and shouted anarchy
And someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox
It it was "California Dreamin"
So we started screamin
On such a winter's day

She took me to her parents for a Sunday meal
Her father took one look at me and he began to squeal

Punk rock girl
It makes no sense
Punk rock girl
Your dad is vice president
Just like the Duke of Earl
Yeah you're for me punk rock girl

We went to a shopping mall
And laughed at all the shoppers
And security guards trailed us to a record shop
We asked for Mojo Nixon
They said he don't work here
We said if you don't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin

We got into her car away we started rollin
I said how much you pay for this
Said nothin man it's stolen

Punk rock girl
You look so wild
Punk rock girl
Let's have a child
We'll name her Minnie Pearl
Just you and me
Eat fudge banana swirl
Just you and me
We'll travel round the world
Just you and me
Punk rock girl

after getting off to that 10-2 start my Mets are
in a mediocre .500 slide for the last 25 games.
I figured this pic of my three biggest childhood
heroes could help right the boat.

Mets extra: this guy got caught with steroids
(he's a relief pitcher, wtf) last month, but his
website anthem song needs to be heard. So sad
that this Japanese dancehall fan aint gonna be
making spot appearances on the mound at shea
this summer, coming into Ninja Mi Ninja or something.

FREE COLDCUT TICKETS

first person to go into our store at
120 E 7th St in Manhattan and mention
this contest gets a free pair of tix for

Coldcut
with special guests Blockhead, Signify & Steinski
Irving Plaza
Wed May 17th

this guy is so not funny on SNL, totally out of his league
in fact the whole show is pretty trife these days.
send this guy back to Nickelodeon.

blu jemz imposter?
long lost brother?
the similarites are uncanny with the
signature curl
stussy hooked-me-up shades
and bk blunt.
as seen on a promo cd sent to the office...

in retrospect, this was obviously bad decision,
but i went to see Stick It this weekend (after tangfield told me to see it).
after all, Bring It On is in my top 10 movies of all time,
and the same director did this...
it get's a 5/10 from me, totally mediocre to bad.
bad jokes, a butchy main character,
low tang factor, terrible storyline,
and what's up with the busted asian chick
with the exotic name? and have you noticed that the new
asian stereotype on tv and in the movies is the chigger?
it gets the gasface.
wait for TNT to air it...

5 movies I hope to catch on cable this summer:
1) starship troopers
2) stand by me
3) pretty in pink
4) total recall
5) varsity blues

Now that everyone is Youtubing like nutso on the lab blog, I figured I'd put on an oldie but a goodie. Jasper seems to think that the trillion balls falling like beautiful rain ad is the best ad ever. However, he is wrong, as usual.

One example of how both design and content can take you to the next level.

kinda in a summer break type of mood...
if only we could all be oblivious
video from crunk jenkins

not the usual estupido fare,
a very interesting article in the ny times
about pro athletes and expertise.

this came via a contest entry from kc,
but since we said no youtube posts, he doesn't qualify for the box,
funny as hell nonetheless...
where is this? is this what ibiza is like? i wanna go.

stupido contest winner #3 (4 boxes left)
kevin says we need to step the contest game up.
agreed. send in some better stuff yall.

Try cracking into this for a bit. Recently it's been in a slump, but some of the earlier strips are money.

----------------------------------

Kaws One eat your heart out.

-----------------------------------

Fuck you, Clark.

Dedicated to that new Superman shit coming out.

Zzzzzz. X-Men for life.

they can't hold me down....
i just got back from a trip to thailand, very nice.
but at the end of it, I was just missing some big ol
american ass-cakes.

you won't find this in bangkok

shady dude,
over and out.

grolsch bottles reminded me of this.

Of course this has been discussed and posted before (not here), but we aint all about being on that new new shit just for the sake... and it happens to be the BEST TV COMMERCIAL EVER. I give you the full 2:26 version of the "bouncey ball" ad for Sony Bravia. You should also youtube the making of, it's pretty damn cool to see the whole thing in real time scary get the fuck out of the way action. That song rules too, btw.

stupido contest winner #2 (still 8 boxsets left!)
click on the link to get the full effect. it's kind of beautiful.

click for full view

lookout for our first photography show
at Turntable Lab Los Angeles

Hamburger City
Turntable Lab and Hamburger Eyes

opening party will be in the end of may.
more info coming.

proof that Maradona had a deeper connection with the game.

stupido contest winner #1

What can you really say about this,
take a second and feel the moment.

enjoy,
Logan

this is the infamous willystyle.
he is pictured here at a classy nyc wedding from the weekend.
yes he is wearing shades.
he's drunk out of his gourd of course,
and doing some kind of funky robot dance,
biting the shit out of his lip.
the night culminated in the DJ playing "Sweet Child O Mine"
... Willystyle proceeded to dump an entire beer
on his head during the breakdown.
incredible.
Willystyle is available for your weddings
at a rate of $100 an hour (beer on the head is extra).

Come by the Lab LA for free beer and Daedelus' *magic* MIDI-controller box...

Tuesday May 9th, 8-10PM

Turntable Lab LA
424 1/2 N. Fairfax Ave
(btw. Beverly & Melrose)

THE FIRST ANNUAL
STUPIDO FREE AGENT
SUBMISSION CONTEST

email us your best potential blog posts
to blog (at) turntablelab.com.

the 10 best will be chosen by a round table discussion
winners will recieve the highly coveted, promo-only,
to kill for 2006 Puma 5 x 12" boxset,
winning entires will be posted on the blog.

- please don't send faddy stuff,
send us the classic stuff that will be
burned into our collective memories.
- no everybody has seen youtube stuff.
- no text only rants, include images.

Here are a few of our favorite customer e-mails, one-liners just as they were written, taken from the customer service Wall of Fame - the haikus of the strange and the insane, the shattered and the hopeful and all those who feel the need to reach out and touch us:

hurry up im-KOREA DJ-MAN

********************************************

what if i don't believe in credit cards

********************************************

want's to know the was mail. i mean the date. [this guy was from Seattle]

*********************************************

please cancel my order i lost my job

*********************************************

in the on-going reposting of vintage top 5s...
this one is from november 2003

1) probation!
woodman and stress were slacking majorly at the store. we caught them punching each other in on the time clock and doing strange asian things while listening to Morrissey.

2) p gorgeous' chopper
p-gorgeous built this nasty chopper for a bike-jousting event. and yes this is 2003, so this shit wasn't called "mutant bike" yet. look up chunk 666 for the realness.

3) jasper's doorstop
the mundane pleasures. frogman defeats bullying metal door by installing a 2" defender. tiesto!

4) sicko
I believe this was the start of the whole MJ mess. I love the Daily News' neutral, unbiased stance.

5) emi
not sure what this was. it's now a broken link to the piklz board (rip).

Just to piggyback on michna's report on females in china / how they compare to women in miami, thought i'd let chall peep how the ladies do down in San Juan.

ps. good to see the roc on the blog. what!!
pps. kind of awesome that kelsey grammer is the producer of "girlfriends". yeah, no cable.

I know Lil Jon had a hand in this.

(And before we get a deluge of emails asking what that T-Pain remake is: it's young Bailey from the Yay, brother of San Quinn, and you can get it on this fine slab of wax.)

Best. Album. Cover. Ever.

chris kaman is hot and all,
but reggie, control yo'self!

former lab-employee Joe gets cobrasnaked....
congrats on graduating from law school.

just got back from willystyle's bachelor party in vegas.
bunch of trader dudes and me.
with the amount of all night benders going on,
it got me thinking of this
disclaimer: no meth in play, I'm using this to illustrate an idea
that vegas all niters takes months off your life.
spearmint + ch2 for life.
congrats willystyle.

In the interest of preserving Lab unity, instead of tearing each other down the customer service department would like to use the blog for what it was truly intended - telling bad customers off.

1) to "Prince Adu Kraw", "Ebenezer Asambo", "Samaj Mapinduzi", "Calendre Lindsay" and all other credit card thieves trying to have their bogus orders sent to Ghana, get a clue and don't try to order the same iPod video every time.

2) to all customers who place their orders while driving in their cars - come on. you can't wait until you get home or get to work to call about your 7" sleeves and your Project Pat record? calling customer service while driving is annoying for us and dangerous for you - please, please, please just wait until you can get to a computer so you can give us your item numbers (preferrably with all of your limbs intact).

3) to the dude who called about his order from his cell phone while taking a piss in a public bathroom - one thing at a time please, guy. gross.

but...the truth is, despite our bitching we love you all. keep making our lives more interesting.

YOU KNOW DI REAL BADMAN DEM WAN SNACK AN CAN SNACK

PUUUUULLL UUUUUUPPPPPPPP