the madness that is the lab.
me and frogman got a new digital cameras today, look out cyberspace!

don't mess with girls named bjork.
she put the cremaster on that bitch.

the best place to eat in Miami?
La Sandwicherie, no doubt. Order a sandwiche with everything, extra cornichons, and a bora bora to wash it down... and it won't cost $20 like everything in South Beach. Tiesto!

okay, sorry for no posts recently but the mgmnt is back from Winter Music Conference. I'm still trying to round up some good flicks. Here's one from our friend Lan. Willow, Chad, and Frogman, all sporting the "Hey Mon" look. Tiesto!

Everybody knows J-Rocc is the frickin man. One of our favorite live djs all-time, and if you haven't seen him in person before you need to get yer ass down to APT this friday. First 20 to email rsvp@aptwebsite.com get in free (include your full name + turntable lab).

Friday March 31st
Downstairs @ APT
419 W13 ST, NYC
10PM - 4AM / $5 before 11PM / $10 after

since sizzle has been in miami the shipping dept. has basically been listening to reggae constantly and discussing how just throwing a standing back tuck is the perfect punctuation to any statement. "floor excercise" is the shit. check sizzle doing one here...

The Ignore Groupo checks in with pics of Thursday's TTL/Oxy party at Winter Music, including this one of a young Floridian lass getting Michna'd.

Sure does look like fun... of course, none of us trusty Lab worker rats would really know...

im upset that Georgetown didn't advance any farther...
but damn, D.C. area, stand the fuck up!!!
forget about the skins, hoyas, terps and the zards right now,
we need to push g. mason to the championship.

this shit is gonna be a disney movie in a few years

"everyone" is in miami this weekend. just to let the bosses know they're not the only ones seeing gorgeous sunsets. these folks go in. go in brothersister number you

the village voice ran a cover story about mutant bike gangs in new york. frogman told me to link this, as this is likely indirectly my 15 minutes. shouts to BlackLabel! see y'all in Richmond!
checkit

Today is a good day. Duke just got knocked out the tournament. No championship for you, Reddick. No more Dicky V going "Dukeback" and Reddick riding himself raw. I love it. Now all we have to do is capture that son of a bitch Osama.

X-Ecutioners deadstock find, modeled by Master P (née P Gorgeous).

animals are cool.
shady dude

The first thought that came to mind was, dude, this guy needs some face-boxers or something, that thing is...out there! Then, restraining from the impulse of getting really immature in penis-one liners, I decided on the gentleman route. Serves me right! After doing research on our friend, it seems there can be no real function found for his nose but sexual selection! Females prefer guy's with bigger noses!

yes, mad props, Sarunas Jasikevicius is finally in the NBA after a successful stint overseas. yes, Sarunas Jasikevicius is a Terp, crab state represent. but i am going to have to say that Sarunas Jasikevicius is the ugliest man in the NBA. Yes, there might be other candidates...

shame on you Ha Seung-Jin, like LPGA golfer Birdie Kim

you give handsome koreans like myself a bad rep
villanueva has a very strange brow structure... a la Skelator.
Calvin Booth looks like someone who will suck your dick for money at gas stations
if you had to... who would you give your daughters' hand in marriage?
i would pick a-train, aaron williams, the albino black man, because he looks similiar to paul wall.

I just saw this documentary that aired on BBC2 last week, about a family who walks on all fours. And, yeah, okay, the social/scientific aspect is pretty awesome. And the ramifications that this info will have on the intelligent designers' way of thinking is kind of hilarious. But the coolest shit is that sometimes they wear sneakers on their hands! Man, if I was still like 5 or 6, I would wanna go move to Turkey and do that shit all the time. Could get expensive though, if they have good expensive taste in kicks. Might gotta holler at Pharrell for a four-pack of them Ice Creams.

These little morsels of afternoon joy are going to be the demise of the entire Production Squad, and the disease is now rapidly spreading toward Shipset. It started with a simple challenge between Lemon-Red and myself back in December: to see who could find the best cookies. And since we found these little guys right down the street, we've been pretty much buying them EVERYDAY. I don't know if I should be ashamed or proud, but damn are they good. And they're only three bucks!

TONIGHT AT TURNTABLE LAB LA!!!!
Kudu performing live!
Free Beer!
We had to rent a drum kit!

via the gothamist.
incredible footage of Guns and Roses performing acoustic at CBGBs.
brings chills down my spine.

patience
i used to love her
one in a million
mr. brownstone

i'll admit, i cried like a baby at the end of the Sebastien Telfair documentary. tears we're running freely. I think the last time I cried over a movie was when they found ET in the creek and he was all grey.
this documentary is too good. I like how the director steered away from all the negative angles, and focused on his family. after seeing this, im toning down my NBA player hateration. their lives are truly journeys with individual stories.

so... the first NBA player I am de-haterizing is:

I'm sorry for calling you "unfrozen cavemen basketball player"
good luck to you and your family.

Bling.

Rarely does an outfit achieve the mindblowing duality of so conspicuous/so inconspicuous. Happy Spring from chunk666nyc.

i don't know about you but I think Land of the Lost was scary as hell.
it still spooks me out.

on my search for flicks from the show,
i came upon this very interesting (understatement) site.
you can't make this kind of stuff up. hipsters wish they were so unique.
someone tell me what's going on here.

The Detroit Grand Pubahs. Those who have experienced their mysterious funk-booty spell are usually left some-kind-of-fucked up and fiending for more. When a group puts out lp's with the name Galactic Ass Creatures From Uranus and still make it Rolling Stone's Top Ten To Watch, you know its gonna be something far from normal. Check out the mad genius himself, Paris the Black Flu, and his booty brigade, in his video for Big Onion.

new video for the Kelis sleeper, soon to 'plode "Bossy."
hot.

Dipset! Dipset! Dipset!
(JJ aka "Kid.. Dy-no-mite!!" playing the role of Jiggaman in Cam's latest video)

tang of the moment.
i always had a crush on Julia Lous Dreyfus circa Seinfeld when she had
that bun of hair on her head. I want to nuzzle it.

if you saw the Real Madrid vs. Arsenal game Wednesday night, you had to cringe while watching ronaldo, one of the greatest to ever play futbol, play futbol. when did that man get so fat and so slow?

shout out to Luciano Belize, candidate for Washed Up Player of the Year.

for some reason, i like this guy, but hes not as cool as....

this man got the internet going nutz.

Kiss the mo-fuckin' ring, Ichiro. Bow down when Korea comes to town.

a total Stewie moment. checkout the flicks of this chinese baby smoking.
or is that Angelina Jolie's kid? I knew it was too good to be true.

it's an end of an era...
we must have sold at least of 1000 of these bad boys.
in the turntablist heyday, we were moving these by the boxes.
it was the best product for improving crab scratches,
and strengthening your retarded pinky fingers.
kids used to carry them in their pockets
and use them to warm up for battles (in public nonetheless).

strange times, hillarious.

well, close to 10 years later, we are putting you to rest, Mr. Gripmaster.
RIP.

I know I've said it a couple times, but The Shield is the best shit on TV. I was talking about it with my friend last night, and he made a good point: it's like they fixed what wasn't even broken. Watching the last few seasons, you would never have thought that there was anything missing or wrong with the show -- it was just The Shield being The Shield, and that was enough. Now, with hindsight, a whole season of Meryl Streep seems like a waste, and I wish they'd brought Whitaker in sooner. Every subplot this season -- from stumbly ole Claudette down to the incompetent, snack-machine obsessed captain -- seems like it has its place, and that definitely wasn't true in the past. (Sidenote: remember when Dutch strangled the cat??) I mean, jeez... there's less action now than there ever has been, and it's somehow more exciting. It's just the ridonkulous levels of intensity that Chiklis and Whitaker bring to every scene. Well, that and the pictures of the rookie in her underwear.

if you didn't watch the game last night, Barcelona forced a dominating tie (Chelsea scored on a meaningless penalty in injury time), and won on aggregate goals, advancing to the round of 8.

my observations on the game/series:
1) where art thou Lampard?
england's world player of the year hopeful was a non-factor the entire series. Ronaldinho is just on another level.

2) Ronaldinho rubbing it in.
Ronaldinho seemed to cement his comments about Chelsea being less skilled by doing all those crazy flicks and holding the ball until he was fouled. His performance was godly. In comparison, he made Chelsea's skill players (Robben and Cole) look like uncreative jocks.

3) Terry gets son'ed
The almight John Terry gets megged by Eto'o, and straight flattened by Ronaldinho on a way to a goal.

4) Barcelona muscle men
Although Ronaldinho and Eto'o were in the spotlight, props need to go to Barcelona's trio of Puyol, Marquez, and Motta who man-handled the Chelsea attack.

5) Mourinho is truly a beyotch
I always thought Jose Mourinho was a slickly dressed, cool strategist; but the European media sniffed him out a while ago. He's a little brat. Barcelona coach Frank Rijkaard, with his Jeri Churl perm (or whatever that is), is the real deal. And Jose, you gotta loose that scarf tied mommy-style.

tonite: 12:30am ESPN2
Real Madrid vs. (my team) Arsenal

I really like the new wave of electro producers stirring things up overseas: Justice, Joakim, Simian Mobile Disco, Digitalism, Zongamin, anything on Kitsune, etc. We got in this new single from Revl9n yesterday featuring a pretty hot remix by Simian Mobile Disco. A little investigation finds a interesting website design, love the noir feel and those shadow effects.

did anyone happen to see Sixers vs. Zards a couple nights ago?
Iverson did a double crossover on Daniels and made him fall down TWICE.
he made Daniels look like he was b-boying.

don't you love youtube? it's the next best thing to TIVO.
you can re-live historic moments like this. I still can't believe the Knicks picked that French dude instead of Artest.

also while on the sports subject, I gotta give some credit to Spike TV's Joes vs Pros show. About 75% of the show is garbage, but seeing regular dudes trying to cover Jerry Rice in one-on-one passing drills was pretty incredible (out of 9 attempts no one even came close except for one attempt where the ball was poorly thrown). Also the get a rebound from Rodman segment was pretty cool (again, no one even came close until a ball went flying off the iron). Supposedly they're gonna have new (retired) atheletes each week. I want to see if Mitch Richmond can still cross people over.

So my life is officially changed. As anyone who is similar to me will know, my vocal range does not lend itself to much karaoke power. Gordon Gano and Isaac Brock, I can handle your piddling range. Julian Casadouchecas, I can handle you too, maybe because your "singing" is actually half-asleep moaning into a distortion box ("I'm soooo tired, why don't you come ovah heeahh" etc). Any of you dudes out there think you can handle "Heaven is a Place on Earth"? WRONG. WRONG. Impossible unless you can actually sing.

I finally found the karaoke bar in NY that I'm going to get married in. Japas 38, nigga! Not only do they have "Since U Been Gone" and "Behind These Hazel Eyes" (sold!) but dudes have NOT ONE, NOT TWO, NOT THREE, but FOUR YES COUNT THEM FOUR songs from Weezer's Pinkerton.

AAAAAAHHHH!!! Just so you know, "El Scorcho, the Good Life, Pink Triangle, Across The Sea." ACROSS THE SEA! I'm going to be singing the like 5 key changes in the instrumental bridge. Too bad there's no Tired of Sex and Falling For You, but if they had it, I would have nothing to look forward to in heaven:

Rivers: Hey woody, I'm not feeling too confident about this performance, would you like to take over vocal duties for a few songs?

Woody: Sure thing, bearded Rivers circa leg operation, though I don't think I'm as good as you are some of the howling "whoas!" on Tired of Sex.

Rivers: Don't worry Woody, I'll co-yell on the anguished screams of that incendiary cut.

Woody: What a "perfect situation!"

(the 2 high five, God looks on while nodding approvingly and making the "hang ten" motion with his hand)

UPDATE: the telecast has been changed to ESPN 2
the night of March 7th starting at 12:30 AM

set your DVRs and TIVOs, Chelsea vs. Barcelona pt.2 will be on ESPN2
March 8th at 12:30am

the first match (Barcelona won 2-1 after a questionable Chelsea red card) was very intriguing. Barcelona made Chelsea look brutish and less skillful than I thought they were. The Champions League is a different game, maybe that's why Arsenal is doing so well.

Got to also shout out Lionel Messi, this guy is the future.

big Chelsea news too, apparently Ballack is coming to town link

i personally rocked the:
(1) skinny dude (good for face-offs, puck-control, and time-killing)
(2) medium dudes (good all-around and on the wings)
(1) fat dude (power shot from the back, and crushing checks)
line-up.

I also liked the green team cause they reminded me of apple jolly ranchers.

highly underrated, PB&J + bananna.

shady dude loves Saved By The Bell, especially AC Slater.

shady dude also likes kelly. the shady look.

yours truly,
Shady Dude

speaking of Adam Morrison... with that dirt stache, he reminds me of the she-male from Le Tigre.

sad to see you go, but you represented the asian brothers well.
cowboys linebacker dat nguyen retired yesterday.

meet sizzle. ol buddy has seen it all. although he's mellowed over the years we've toiled together at the Lab, i'd still bet that he rages harder than any of you. Just this past weekend, with a pocket full of Tums, Sizzy was throwing himself atop handrails at Mt.Snow. i even witnessed a 50/50 to ass bump to land that was particularly epic. just a little peek behind the scenes. shipset, player.

So fucking awesome, it's worth another post. I've been waiting for that boob for years.

I love having this conversation... who is your ideal starting 5 for the USA team? heres mine, plus the 6th man off the bench.

Here's my second favorite conversation... my thoughts = Knicks would destroy them. The whiteboys would def. win next year when Reddick and Morrison join Hinrich. Shout out to Steve Blake, who would be on the bench with Ridnour, both over white chocolate.

R.I.P. LaVar Arrington's career in D.C.

better than expected.

yours truly,
Shady Dude

Quick link to the new issue of Vice in Germany, where Metal on Metal was reviewed (in, obviously, German).

QUANTIC, NICKODEMUS & MILES CLERET at APT TONITE!
These guys will all be playing the rare latin dance tracks in celebration of the release of the Columbian & Panamanian funk compilations coming out on Soundway Records March 14th. first 10 to RSVP to rsvp@aptwebsite.com get in free.

Downstairs @ APT
419 W13 ST, NYC
10PM - 4AM / $5 cover / Dancing shoes suggested

priceless.
shout to Billy at Forced for the pic.

Help wanted for Manhattan store.
Must be able to work 3-4 days a week including weekends.
Send resumes to bogdan@turntablelab.com.