OK thanks Viacom! So this is how major corporations act on their weird neurotic impulses -- by giving away everybody who works for them the TERROR BAG! Inside this bootleg Brooklyn Industries messenger bag we have:

One (1) respirator

One (1) flashlight/radio

One (1) juice-sized box of Aqua Blox purified drinking water ('The 5 year shelf-life drinking water'!)

It's good to know that when nuclear winter sets I'll be huddled in the Bronx Zoo sipping my Aqua Blox, defending my pile of sticks from roving gangs of psychotics.

Health insurance would have been preferred!