Ladies of New York City,

If you're on the train with your white earbuds, and you think that I'm looking at you a little too closely, I swear I'm not being all Shady Dude -- I'm just trying to figure out if you're using the new iBuzz. Destined to revive trance music and make dudes completely obsolete in one fell swoop, the iBuzz is an insane vibrator/cock ring doohickey that plugs into headphone jack of your music playing device, and then tucks away neatly and compactly, so nobody has to know that you're totally getting off to C+C Music Factory. It's only a matter of time until they roll out the version that's compatible with your 60GB video.