Zach Galifianakis - "You Bring Me Joy"

I'm torn between wanting to hug this guy for being so fucking funny, and wanting to fight him for getting to be so close to Sarah Silverman in that picture.

R.I.P. Don Knotts

A true O.G.

These have probably been posted a bunch of times, but listening to the new Phil Most record last night had me over at the old world of beats / Soul Man blog to see what he's up to. Nothing new but we can forgive him when he's flossing closet treasures like this.

Quoth the Michna:
Michna was recently in Budapest and missed his train back to Vienna. Good thing the MICHNA BUS came thru. That's his dad's cousin in the middle, Otto Michna. He runs an off road Rally team in Hungary. Anyways, if you wanna see Michna spin records in the flesh, he'll be at Happy Ending tonight.

Feb 24th

Egg Foo @ Happy Ending

302 Broome St.

New York City

21+ No Cover.

11pm-late

Ladies of New York City,

If you're on the train with your white earbuds, and you think that I'm looking at you a little too closely, I swear I'm not being all Shady Dude -- I'm just trying to figure out if you're using the new iBuzz. Destined to revive trance music and make dudes completely obsolete in one fell swoop, the iBuzz is an insane vibrator/cock ring doohickey that plugs into headphone jack of your music playing device, and then tucks away neatly and compactly, so nobody has to know that you're totally getting off to C+C Music Factory. It's only a matter of time until they roll out the version that's compatible with your 60GB video.

Dispatch from across the office:

"My old friend Jake recently became obsessed with finding rare Nike's online during his breaks from studying for the California Bar Exam. Being the sweetheart, and newly rich guy that he is, he found and bought these limited edition, impossible to find, expensive as hell Stussy Nikes for me, which I received today express from Australia, as he was in the middle of finishing his third day of the grueling 18 hour bar exam at some convention center (ugh!). Shout out to you Jake!!! Thank you and thank your beautiful wife Vanessa for me! And congratulations on finishing your exam!!! Watch out L.A., you just got the best lawyer in the state!" - Alison, dance music litigator

via the bogman (who will be up in the blog mix soon)
check out these cool pics of an abandoned amusement park.
scary and beautiful.

BOY GENIUS RETURNS TO THE LAB BITCHES!!!

the washed up white man (frog, stoney, and honorary-white ph) held me down like they were kobe and i was a sweet young white fox. these blogs have been alright, but like Nate Robinson this past weekend, these guys hit only one outta fiddy.

What to expect from B. Genius...
1) titties, bitches, skanks, hos, tricks, and sluts
2) anything else I like at the moment.

ISIAH RULZ. HIGH FIVE HOMIE!
You just knew we were gonna be the suckers to pull the trigger on this. Stevie Francis, welcome to the fold of the New York Knickerbockers, home of the overpaid, disgrunted, post-surgery, hasn't been exciting (and/or hasn't played) in 5 years veteran. Seriously, we used to love Francis, and we're rooting for him, but this situation makes Scott Layden look like freakin ge-ni-ous. At least Penny's knees are gone.

don't you love Telemundo Television shows?

yours truly,
Shady Dude

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pete's been slacking on tang of the moment,
so here's mine: Marisa Miller whose the hottest tang in Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue.
Shady Dude hooks up the deeper look too.

yours truly,
Shady Dude

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mmm... I have a craving for lobster roll.
the best in the city.

probably one of the grossest human beings on earth.
he's even got his own blog now.
no homo, but project runway is pretty addictive.

The whole Production Squad (myself + sometimes-reviewers Snackmaster Jay & the Commish) got pretty geeked when we saw the "COMING SOON" signs for Ferrigno's Meats, just 2 blocks away from the Brooklyn HQ. (Even if, in our hearts, we knew it wasn't him...) But, honestly, once we tasted their chicken parm sandwiches, it didn't even matter to us that they hadn't been made by a big, angry green guy (or grey guy if you get down like that). Roast beef sandwiches that they cut up right in front of you? To quote the Genevan Heathen, no fucking joking around. It's a wrap. Head down to Jay St. and follow the dead-eyed worker drones to the one place that makes our their 9-5's worthwhile.

Still trying to obtain visual confirmation, but word is that a friend of the Lab's music was featured pretty prominently in the opening scene of Grey's Anatomy last night. Though the Pantera Os Danadhinos version of the rhythm would have been a more appropriate hipster pick, the Sandra Melody version making it on-air is still pretty decent, considering... you know, it's ABC.

Hey dudes, Jasper is wrong as usual. Or, more accurately, he's kind of incorrect.

Michna and I are sharing a tiddlywinks set at Lit in the upstairs tonight for like an hour but it's bush league. The Metal on Metal party will be Friday, May 19 at Lit in the DOWNSTAIRS.

By the way, you know how people say "BTW" instead of saying "by the way"? I figured that that is totally dumb because when you say "by the way" you're only saying three syllables, whereas when you say "btw" that's actually five. So I came up with the gayest thing of all time, saying "beets dubs" when you want to say "btw". That way, you're only saying 2 syllables, and also maximize your gayness. Beets dubs, I'm also into using "gay" as a positive, empowering adjective.

you got michna'd!!!
after the party it's the afterparty (323 last night, eggfoo pre-hotel lobby)... check for more Gravis x Turntable Lab party pics later today. And if you're in New York, tonight is the official Michna Vs Woodman party:

LIT
93 2nd Ave. between 5th + 6th st.
New York City
21+ No Cover

THURSDAY, february 16th NYC
Gravis / TTL Money Gig Bag Launch Party
Mark Ronson + Blu Jemz spin at Milk Studios (incredible space)
free beer and liquor!!!
more info

FRIDAY, february 17th LOS ANGELES
The Free Beer Friday Nite Primer at Turntable Lab LA
Special guest DJs Rich Medina and LA Jay (Pharcyde)
more info

object of desire: Leica Digilux 2.
if you have one, I'll trade you anything on the Lab site. I'll even take the d-lux 2.

classic line: The only things I care about in this goddamn life are me and my drums... and you.

been out of comission for a couple days. made a visit to the ER. dude next to me had huge boils, they gave him morpheus and there was blood squirting everywhere. the ER is the most potent reality check. they seem to make it as uncomfortable as possible, everyone knows each other's business (a grandma getting a thermometer stuck up her butt, thanks for the info), and those little curtains don't hide anything. ERs in nyc are especially hairy with a bunch of homeless folk walking around freely. I think I just added 3 years to mental mind state. Stay healthy.

TANG OF THE MOMENT.

(Sorry, Pete's out today, I had to...)

One cool thing about working around music is that you get to listen to a wide array of different types of music. The new reissue of 1970s compilation from Brasilian tropicalist Nara Leao made my day on a slushy tuesday in Dumbo.

a little reseach, digs up this excellent record cover design.

if you want to hear more (shamless plug)
click here

The same dudes who brought you the insane 424 Sound System mix have taken their game to even insaner-er levels with "Trapped In The Closet 1-5, All At Once". You roll your eyes now, but wait until you hear/see -- it's totally hypnotic, disorienting, fascinating. Like, this is what came into dude's head when he conceived of the series, and then he went in and untangled the whole mess. The ending is especially intense, the way the whole thing climaxes (pause) with him moaning "Robert, Robert, Robert..." can't be pure coincidence... right?

i love this kind of shit. check out what they found in the iraqi desert.

this is pretty cool too

OMFG. This shit destroys. Arguably a new genre, the neurotic thriller FD3 blows away its predecessors on so many levels I'm planning on mostly-unironically seeing it again next weekend. To wit!
1. This is the first ever trilogy where the order of quality goes 3, 1, 2. Unlike most excellent trilogies that go 2, 1, 3 (eg-Back to the Future, Terminator, Aliens), this one tops the list as having the 3rd installment crush everything that came before it.
2. I'm getting a T-shirt made that says "Fuckin' James Wong." (hereafter referred to as FJW) Dude is the DUDE. We'll have to forgive him the sins of directing The One with Jet Li, but I gotta give it up for my fellow countryman.
3. Village Voice panned FD3, but that's just because they have no idea what the hell they're talking about. The elaborate Mousetrap ways in which FJW sets up the demises for his douchebaggy high school students is so tense it borders on brilliant. AARGH! Let's pump iron while swords and stuffed bears surround us! FJW will crush the haters like the giant sign that crushes that Christian Slater wannabe character.
4. Way to not even reference FD2, FJW! The over-the-top style of 2, while thoroughly entertaining, was not directed by FJW, and upon his triumphant return to the series dude was all "this is my fucking franchise, mine and mine alone!" I cannot stress this enough: everything that was good about 1 was extrapolated and blown up to feature length with FD3.
5. See this shit. It is high entertainment at its most fundamental level (ie-cheering and clapping when you see your fellow human beings get their heads sawed off by a motor). I am literally seeing 1 and 2 again, on DVD, with commentary, and then seeing 3 again. It's a petty and kind of cheating way to have something to look forward to again.

Mike Jones may look like Donatello, but it's Jeezy who makes the Ninja Turtles go cray-zay.

I liked this this, but liked this even more.

have a good weekend,
shady dude

i sent this to boy genius, who is known for a deep attachment with a Curious George doll when he was younger.

his response:

R.I.P. Dilla

The Lab is quiet in your memory.

tang of the moment:
that girl from gray's anatomy.

snowboarding in Tahoe for the b-day fiesta. 10 dudes, one house, lots of canned corn, and a hot tub. luckily, there was a blizzard while were there, so we got to hit virgin powder for the first time in my life. check out the last of the mohicans on skis, get with the times!

a lab classic. I know this guy has probably been blogged a million times, but he deserves it. Search for his appearance on Howard Stern, it's one of the greatest moments in E! history. His personal website here.

for all the dance heads in chicago, this looks like it's going to be amazing. we caught Theo Parrish at APT last month and he absolutely destroyed it. I don't think I've heard anyone as good as him at tweaking EQs. he makes old disco stuff sound like it's from the future.

I didn't think anything could top real long cat, but Herman has been in my thoughts far too much lately. That cold, blank stare. Those ridiculous, McHale-esque feet.

Plus, he's German.

Had to scale down the picture so as not to fuck up the blog flow, but to view Herman in all his glory, click clack.

if you haven't seen it yet, here's lisa loeb in a thong. her pasty ass looks pretty good for a 37 year old tang.

OK thanks Viacom! So this is how major corporations act on their weird neurotic impulses -- by giving away everybody who works for them the TERROR BAG! Inside this bootleg Brooklyn Industries messenger bag we have:

One (1) respirator

One (1) flashlight/radio

One (1) juice-sized box of Aqua Blox purified drinking water ('The 5 year shelf-life drinking water'!)

It's good to know that when nuclear winter sets I'll be huddled in the Bronx Zoo sipping my Aqua Blox, defending my pile of sticks from roving gangs of psychotics.

Health insurance would have been preferred!

OK, I've been on this kick where I'm trying to decide what holds up from my childhood and what doesn't. For example: Transformers the cartoon series DOES NOT.
Oh hey, let's go find the Autobots.
[flashing cut of Decepticon symbol to Autobots symbol]
Oh hey, look there's the Decepticons.
Oh hey, let's form Devastator etc etc
Meanwhile, Transformers The Movie definitely DOES. Orson Welles in the house! 'Your bargaining position is highly dubious.' Other examples in the DOES NOT is the Ben Stiller Show. Como se dice 'dated'? Let's get some more pointless 90s twangy guitar noodling in that theme song! Let's hire the dude who wrote the opening score for Blind Date!

Voltron? Awesome in concept, so weak in execution! Way to shatter my precious childhood memories, inability of Voltron to hold up in retrospect! Why don't you form blazing sword the second you form the head, Keith? Is it because you're so shattered from Sven biting the dust?

Digress!

So, my newest addition: QUANTUM LEAP. Anything involving time travel I'm pretty much 98% sold, just don't suck. Groundhog Day? Frequency? The blinding pure God-force of the Back To The Future triptych? I Netflixed the first DVD of the first season, and after the WORST 5 MINUTES it gets better and better (very slowly). Then episode 2 with Teri Hatcher? FIRE! How can you not empathize with the Bakula? Paul Bellasario in the house! I'm building slowly so that when the one where he goes to 'Nam to save his brother comes on it's gonna be Boner-town.

It's about the little things in life, things that you look forward to everyday. The packaging says it "wakens and uplifts dull, fatigued skin," and it really works. Put a little bit on your face and it has this incredible cooling effect. You'll feel like George Hamilton after a visit to the doctor. It's a bit pricey, but it's worth it. more info. Also in the same vein, check this. Side story: over at the Lab LA apartment, I used Blu Jemz' shower, and it was full of all these expensive Clinique products and designer lotions and cleansers, this guy is an undercover fu-fu!

congrats to Lab's own P-Gorgeous on winning the annual Idiotarod. White people do the dumbest things.

we're trying to sign this fine ass for Money Studies,
but wait, she rhymes too.

for the entire story click here

we got dibbs!!!

freddy aint good enough

this kid looks pretty sweet. They say the 9 year old already has interest from Man U?

tang of the moment.
korean pop star Kim Ah-Jung,
known to have an excellent body.